sagikkun: (lviii.)
ᴋᴀɴɢ ʏᴏ-ʜᴀɴ ( ᴛʜᴇ ᴅᴇᴠɪʟ ᴊᴜᴅɢᴇ. ) ([personal profile] sagikkun) wrote2025-02-20 04:40 pm
gahrot: (clix.)

[personal profile] gahrot 2025-06-20 03:19 am (UTC)(link)
( it's colder than he'd expected outside. it feels right for his mood, a sulky, creeping thing where he doesn't know what to do with the ache in his chest. it's too big for him to ignore and too messy to swallow down and all he can do is sit in the miasma of it, hands wrapped around a rapidly cooling mug of tea.

he doesn't know what he's doing. he's never been in this situation before. gaon isn't the kind of person who goes out of his way to hurt people and yet it had felt good knowing that each message might find a mark, that he might get yohan back the way yohan had gotten to him. pettiness doesn't suit him. the guilt will crawl up his throat later. but none of it is yohan's business, is it? who he sees. what company he keeps. gaon had made a mistake and yohan had backed out of it and there's nothing more to be said for it, right?

he forgoes his tea in favour of laying back across the table, as if there's a mechanism somewhere to turn off the ache. it's easier to just let the sounds of the city wash over him, the distant vehicles, a train somewhere too far away, the wind in the tree down the street, banging.

banging and--

he picks himself up slowly, and then quicker when he hears his name. there's no questioning who it is and he picks his way across the rooftop to the edge nearest the door, leaning far enough over the rail to see kang yohan below. )


What are you doing? ( hissed, just loud enough for him to hear but hopefully not enough to draw anyone else's ire. ) Go home.
gahrot: (ccxliv.)

[personal profile] gahrot 2025-06-23 02:43 am (UTC)(link)
( he doesn't believe that yohan is actually drunk until he kicks his door. or doesn't understand just how far gone he is until that point and gaon heaves a sigh as he leans further over to see what kind of damage he's being threatened with.

he wants to shout at him. he thinks it might feel good to call him out, to name the man and name the deed where anyone might be in earshot. he doesn't think yohan is all too familiar with shame but stories always carry and who would it hurt the most to know that kang yohan is out drunk in the street late at night, shouting at one of his neighbours?

going downstairs is the last thing gaon wants right now. if he thought he could get away with going inside and ignoring yohan he probably would. he runs a hand down his face like he hasn't already made his mind up reaches to pull his hood up over his head. )


I'll come down, but-- ( he's barely above a whisper, trying to keep things quiet-- ) you have to swear you'll stop shouting.
gahrot: (lxxix.)

[personal profile] gahrot 2025-06-24 05:35 am (UTC)(link)
( he forgets his mug in his haste to get down the stairs.

he's a good neighbour. a nice boy. he keeps to himself, closes his business at a reasonable hour, and he doesn't bring quarrels to his door that might affect the people living around him. to think that the priest from the church across the street is the concern, here. that gaon needs to be the one reining him in.

there's something quiet and unexamined deep in his chest that likes it.

he steps outside, pulling the door closed behind him, hands shoving into the pockets of his hoodie. his mouth is a firm line but there's more concern in his eyes than there should be given their current argument and he reaches for yohan when he sways a little despite himself, steadying him by the shoulder even as his brow furrows. )


I don't think we have much to say to each other, do we?

( more than they already have? )

If you're just here to be mad at me then you should go back to your office.
gahrot: (ccli.)

[personal profile] gahrot 2025-06-26 05:03 am (UTC)(link)
( his hackles are up immediately, defensive at the first blow, but yohan catches himself quickly enough to soften the accusation. not well, mind you. it's something, though, especially when it comes to the way kang yohan is about expressing his feelings. gaon keeps a hold on him, half to keep his balance in check and half to maintain the distance. it's a good plan. reasonable. some kind of effective.

except yohan doesn't say what gaon expects him to and the vulnerability in it shocks him to stillness, eyes wide and searching yohan's face. even drunk he wouldn't expect this out of him. it feels like a weakness is being admitted, like yohan is rolling over and showing the soft of his belly and gaon is immediately and worryingly aware of just how dangerous a position he's in. how careful he needs to be. how fragile this moment is. )


Father Kang.

( soft, so soft, like approaching a cornered animal. he tightens his grip on yohan's shoulder, a gentle squeeze of reassurance. his stomach swoops a little and too many warring feelings rise up his throat, something between frustration and regret and want and resolve. he hasn't made his peace with it all yet but he understands that he needs to and this isn't helping. it's not making it easier. )

You told me to go. You told me we shouldn't. ( he swallows, watching the way the shadows from the light overhead make yohan's eyes darker. ) I can't just go back to the way it was before. ( he doesn't say i still want you, he bites back you have to let me get over you, he just lets out a heavy breath and reaches for yohan's other shoulder. ) We can be friends again, but not yet.
gahrot: (cclxiv.)

[personal profile] gahrot 2025-06-28 04:34 am (UTC)(link)
( the problem is yohan is drunk.

there are plenty of problems, actually, and a lot of them he's forcing himself to ignore because this biggest and the worst one is that he doesn't know what to do with any of this. yohan -- father kang -- is a force all on his own. he has a reputation to uphold. there are rumours and stories that circulate but none of them sound like more than lunch-rush rabble and gaon is learning to parse the truth out of what he hears. there is absolutely more than meets the eye here. gaon understands that there are secrets, that yohan could never really be the type of priest he comports himself to be, and he never would have dared to kiss him if he'd thought it might genuinely cross a line, spiritual or otherwise.

he doesn't know what to do with all of this. it's an admission made under duress and one he probably shouldn't hear. the angry, hungry parts of him thrill at it. he likes the pain in yohan's voice. it means something. he's not relishing in the hurt but the possibility. which is its own problem because he's supposed to be leaving him alone. what will happen when yohan is sober again? what consequences would come of this? )


Hey. ( cautious, quiet. ) It's okay.

( he drops a hand to wrap his fingers around the bottle, below yohan's, gently pulling it away from him with a soft smile. problem one: get yohan somewhere safe. carefully. tenderly, if he must. )

Let's go back to the church. Is your office still open?
gahrot: (cci.)

[personal profile] gahrot 2025-06-29 06:16 am (UTC)(link)
( he's not laughing. he's not going to. he's worried, though, and it's maybe a good thing that yohan can't see the look on his face, the concern knit into his brow. this is more complicated than it needs to be and the liquor will only serve to make it worse. but he's not cold-hearted enough to let yohan stumble his way back across the road alone and so he lets out the heavy breath he's been holding and tucks the bottle in beside his door so he can rush the couple of steps to catch up. )

Come on.

( he lifts yohan's arm and tucks his own under it, bumping their shoulders as he wraps his hands carefully around yohan's sore one. there's something young about it, jovial in the way friends might, and he clicks his tongue as he smooths a thumb across his skin. it's easier this way to steer yohan off the walkway and into the street, distracting from one wrong by enacting another. )

You're working so late tonight. Was something going on? Have you eaten?
gahrot: (xliii.)

[personal profile] gahrot 2025-07-01 04:54 am (UTC)(link)
( he's never seen yohan drunk and he never would have guessed that this is how it might play out. there are several things going on, of course, and gaon's contributions that brought him to this point can't be understated, but soft and sad and...lost? not the kang yohan he knows, so full of fire and brimstone on a good day, resolute in posture and pose. this can't just be over gaon, can it?

he slows them on the step up on the other side of the street, makes sure neither of them stumble. gaon heart thuds too loudly in his chest as he steers them across the yard towards the doors. only one of them is hanging open, thankfully.

there are questions that shouldn't be asked. boxes that are being closed that shouldn't be opened. gaon sighs as he helps yohan up the first steps and does it anyway. )


Do you know what you want, Father Kang?
gahrot: (cliii.)

[personal profile] gahrot 2025-07-02 06:43 am (UTC)(link)
( he mouths plates silently to himself and frowns, slower than he should be to understand. it's the hour, it's the circumstances, it's half his focus on making sure he keeps both their balances in check and the words take their time in spelling out their meaning. what does a priest have to keep track of like that? what is there for him to have in the works that would bring him to this state?

gaon has a couple of guesses, but father kang has more secrets.

he searches yohan's face, open about it where he might have been more subtle if yohan was any closer to sober, and sighs as he shakes his head, a wry smile at the corner of his mouth. )


I'm not a plate. You can't spin me.

( gentle, a joke that might have more truth to it than he knows. he urges yohan up another step. )