( He did. He'd said it. He'd shut down so quickly and efficiently there had been no room for anything else. Gaon is right, and his reaction is fine, it makes sense, it's natural. Except Yohan doesn't like it. There's a feeling inside of him now, writhing and sick with it, just a shade too wrong that he thinks he'd make any kind of bargain to have it go. Funny, that he's only felt something like this once before, in the hospital with nothing and no one else to ever help him through. Funny, that he guarded himself against it and still managed to fall back in. )
What else was I supposed to do? ( It sounds a little like he's not even asking Gaon, so desperate that it's too big for the both of them. ) I had to make you leave, I would have -.
( His teeth click, his body swaying against the palm of Gaon's hand. He would have kept kissing him, he knows that, would have drawn Gaon further and further into his web, would have lost him regardless, when the veneer had worn away and the younger man had realised just the kind of man he'd climbed into bed with. There's no avenue he gets to keep it, only he'd thought maybe he might. )
What do I have to do, Gaon? What steps do I have to take? I'll do them, I'm used to it. ( His head hurts, the sweaty grip on the bottle between them tightening, liquor sloshing. ) Tell me, so I can fix it. I hate it. I miss you.
( Ah, maybe he should have brained himself on the Font instead of this, he feels like he's bleeding. )
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( He did. He'd said it. He'd shut down so quickly and efficiently there had been no room for anything else. Gaon is right, and his reaction is fine, it makes sense, it's natural. Except Yohan doesn't like it. There's a feeling inside of him now, writhing and sick with it, just a shade too wrong that he thinks he'd make any kind of bargain to have it go. Funny, that he's only felt something like this once before, in the hospital with nothing and no one else to ever help him through. Funny, that he guarded himself against it and still managed to fall back in. )
What else was I supposed to do? ( It sounds a little like he's not even asking Gaon, so desperate that it's too big for the both of them. ) I had to make you leave, I would have -.
( His teeth click, his body swaying against the palm of Gaon's hand. He would have kept kissing him, he knows that, would have drawn Gaon further and further into his web, would have lost him regardless, when the veneer had worn away and the younger man had realised just the kind of man he'd climbed into bed with. There's no avenue he gets to keep it, only he'd thought maybe he might. )
What do I have to do, Gaon? What steps do I have to take? I'll do them, I'm used to it. ( His head hurts, the sweaty grip on the bottle between them tightening, liquor sloshing. ) Tell me, so I can fix it. I hate it. I miss you.
( Ah, maybe he should have brained himself on the Font instead of this, he feels like he's bleeding. )