( He waits for the violence of movement to compel him. He knows himself. He knows that he does not talk about these things. Gaon moves a bit of the pancake towards him, a peace offering, and still Yohan does not throw himself from the chair and out the door. Progress? He doesn't know. His mouth twitches as he takes it up, holds it between the end of his chopsticks. )

No. I liked being an uncle, don't get me wrong. I'd always ask Isaac if there'd be more little ones in the future. Iseul-sinui wanted more. They'd planned on it. All of Elijah's baby stuff is still in the house stored away because they'd hoped to reuse it. But I knew being a parent myself wasn't for me. ( He was too much like his father, he was too much like the things people accused him of being. It would have been cruel to have a child dependent on him. Cruel, just like the world was, apparently. Poor Elijah. ) It's different going from babysitting to full-time care. There are things I should have done differently. I know that now.

( He tried though. )

What about you? Do you want children?